8th Day without Melody

Hm... I don't know what to say again, but I'm sick of them two =P. Yes i mean it, Lol.

Let's talk about life first of all. Today i volunteered again. Basically, we did nothing but playing cards and mafia. Again, i became the dealer of a texas holdem game for 5 freaking hours. I got so sick of cards that I was dizzy when i see them. The whole 5 hours, i was just dealing and dealing and dealing, shuffling and shuffling...

Life... I don't know. I obtained my regular life now, just that a life without Clement and Melody in it. I barely talked to them anymore, get so sick and tired of them. Now i can't even bare with it, I probably won't go back for her even if they break up. Oh wells =P, it is life, we will see...

I mean, it is not that my feelings had changed for her, but my views had changed a lot. First of all, i never thought she would've been a girl like this. She and Clement got so intimate after really being together for 4 days, since she's been out for 4 other days.

What can i say... I don't expect any girl would climb onto another guy and sleep like that in 4 days. The position they are in.... Imagine a piggy back ride in the opposite side, or the "sex" position. Clement is sitting down with his legs closed, while Mel just climbed onto him and lied on him. Then Clement just grab her by his waist and push her against his chest. I can't even imagine how they can sleep like this.

Another thing is, I had never see a couple going that far in 4 days. Ignore the hold hands, ignore the hugs... Do you even think a girl would let a guy to just touch her by her butt and stroll around it? I can't imagine that at all. I wouldn't even imagine Clement would put his arm around the "chest" area in just a few days.

Oh wells XD, that has nothing to do with me now. I told myself to bring out my positive and funny side. I did my job =P, somehow i joked about it, laughed about it. I just pretend I never really met her like i used to, like were really never "friends." Her image in me would stay the same as the moment that i like her, but her real person would never been the same.

I actually learn something, be positive is the way to go. I mean, being positive, now I don't even care. I mean, not in a bitch way, but I do suffer, i do get hurt. Yet the damage she dealt to me is minimized to the lowest, for i had pretend i see nothing, know nothing, which might be better than realizing everything... Sounds weird but ok.. =P

 Aside from that, I was glad that I didn't get into this relationship. Not because of what she is now, but because I know for sure I don't last long with girls. When i put on my aim profile "The person you loved should be your best friend," I already know what I could do. I know that i don't last long with girls, so I don't like going for them. I wonder if i did, I might've hurt myself even more... For the love i have for her.

Ohh... Also, Jenna reminded me this story, "What I did for Love." The link I recommend to read this story is http://universalbuddy.tripod.com/story.htm . This story made me tear before, for many reasons. Now i rethink about it. I couldn't be the same person as Nima, to give the love he can to Ji Won. I can give Mel the same quality, but not quantity. I bet i would never do so many things, even if i think she never liked me before...

Edit: Yeah, but i still think that she isn't like that. I never would believe she is such a "slut" in a way she would go climb on Clement in 4 days. Well Andrew suggested that she might be pressured, and i would rather believe that, leaving a good image in me... If what Andrew said was true, then I should really pick my swift blade up now... I might need it later....

她已經不是我以前認識的人了。
She's already not the person i used to know.