3rd Day without Melody

Its August 23th, third day after i did my mistake..... Also the 2nd day of her trip... Since then, I've never talked to her. Somehow, it felt like... as if 10 days had passed, and I miss her more than most of the people I missed in my life...

Sigh, i wonder if what my friends said was true. Everyone just kept telling me that Mel isn't smart enough to see I'm better than Clement, saying that she doesn't have the eyes to pick the right guy... I was 1/3 sad, 1/3 mad, and 1/3 relief when my friends say that. Why? Because I'm sad that I wouldn't be able to be the person next to her. I'm mad because what my friends said is basically telling me that i picked the wrong person to like.... But yet, I'm somewhat relief because I still have friends that care about me and talk to me...

Today, i woke up as my usual time 4-5 months ago, 11 AM... I woke up, hugging my pillow, wanting to go back to sleep... I felt like I haven't slept yesterday, yet I couldn't go back to sleep... I sat on my computer chair, opened my laptop, then i sat there with a long long silent. I was just thinking and thinking about what me and my friends IM yesterday... How they were helping me to comfort me, telling me everything is alright... To be honest, I'm still feeling somewhat dull, it seems like life is somewhat pointless again like 6 months ago.

I signed on aim, then i told another of my good friend, William, about my "experience"... I forgot what he told me, but it was like something about me, something about I didn't hint enough to her about the fact that i had feelings to her. Right when he said that, i told him "FINALLY.... someone said something ._. , saying that i didn't hint enough." Perhaps I really didn't hint her clearly... Perhaps i should've really just told her instead...

This whole morning, i was trying to find something to do, trying to mow the lawn but it was too hot... Then i went to play my games.... Thoughout the games, i wonder if I can just be this character I'm using, to travel back in times... If i could travel back, i wouldn't had make those mistakes that i shouldn't make...

Really, i wanted to go back 1 month, and change what i did, or least told her earlier. Many of the things might be flipped around if I did, but what is done... is done... So I might as well not think about them...

如果我可以返去過去，我一定會把握我的機會，一定唔會被它放過...
 If I had the chance to go back to the past, i will definitely take my chance, and i will not let it go...