Today.... our family decided to sent her away.
it was 5 minutes ago, i was crying like crazy. I really don't want her to die, she is a good family member to me.
I guess it might be some sort of release. She's been suffering, I don't know what to say. She's been breathing really heavy, and I see her dying. It is such a horrible scene, and I want to look away, but I couldn't. I want to be with her, but I still don't want her to suffer. Maybe doing this will be better, giving her relief. I still see some unwillingness in her, she tried to struggle when we tried to put her into the car to the vet, but she is too weak to do so. We know this is better for her, not to stay in the house until her last moment, but to have her rest earlier....
I can barely type this blog right now, my eyes are watery, and my vision is blur. I can barely read what I'm typing... I'm sensing this as my tears drop on my shorts, and i feel the tears going through my face. Every tear is like a memory of her, like what she did with me or how she looks like. I can barely describe my emotion..... I barely want to talk... I would rather be with my dog healthly than being with anyone at the moment, yet it is an unavoidable fact that my brother and mom are driving her to the vet to send her away... It is awful... I don't want to type anymore...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
37th Day: Sad....
37th day.. barely posting now..
Sigh.... Today went to the vet with my dog, Chow.... She's 12... a Chow Chow. We all loved her, and we all believed that she's the prettiest Chow Chow in the world... Yet....... She's been popping water, refusing to eat, and resting every moment... We brought her to the doctor, examine her with blood test and x-ray. The doctor told us that she has kidney failure, and nothing would save her. At the moment, it stroke me hard, because I wouldn't want it to happen. The doctor proposed 2 options, bring her home, but she will suffer, or just put her to sleep.... I cried right there, for a several of minutes. Then i see Chow coming out from the client room, she's so old and sick, but I really don't want her to die... Yet, it's something unavoidable... I cried again, and this time, tears came down and dropped on the floor. Chow saw it, she came over to me. I tried to touch her again, because soon i would never touch her anymore...
I tried to help myself, but I just couldn't deny that fact that she's dying... I wanted to hug her, to love her, to save her, but I know i couldn't. She just stand in front of me, and i look at her face... She looked like as if she doesn't want me to feel sad, as if she knows what I'm thinking. In the end, we came up to a decision that we would bring her home, until something really bad happens. That i know is not a good choice, because she's suffering. She's all tired and sick, wouldn't move anymore...
Sometimes, I would just think back in times. I would remember how much love i have for her. She's always there when I'm down, and i would just stroll her fur and talk to her, because i know that she would just listen and wouldn't talk back like others. She's always pretty and cute, she would never bit anyone... When i recall my memory, i always feel like I want to cry, like right now when I'm typing this... Only time like this i would remember what she has done... Sigh...
When i heard this news, i realized how stupid it is... when the stuff with Mel. Mel is nothing to me, she can go... whatever.... But yeah.. I noticed that Chow, my dog, or I should say my family member, is way more important. She's always there, watching my house, waiting for me to come home, waiting for me to bring her food, etc... Now that i know I will soon not to be able to do that really hit me... I feel really depress, and yet stupid because i realized how un-mature i was, and how stupid i was for all these stupid problems and things with only a girl that I would not be with...
I don't know anymore, if you guys, whoever is reading this, want to visit her, IM me... I will arrange it... I know some of you really like my dog and stuff, but ... yeah... I don't know what to say.. I know it is true that putting her to sleep is a better choice, but my family and i are ... selfish in a way, because we don't really want her to die... She will still be in my heart as my family member....
Sigh.... Today went to the vet with my dog, Chow.... She's 12... a Chow Chow. We all loved her, and we all believed that she's the prettiest Chow Chow in the world... Yet....... She's been popping water, refusing to eat, and resting every moment... We brought her to the doctor, examine her with blood test and x-ray. The doctor told us that she has kidney failure, and nothing would save her. At the moment, it stroke me hard, because I wouldn't want it to happen. The doctor proposed 2 options, bring her home, but she will suffer, or just put her to sleep.... I cried right there, for a several of minutes. Then i see Chow coming out from the client room, she's so old and sick, but I really don't want her to die... Yet, it's something unavoidable... I cried again, and this time, tears came down and dropped on the floor. Chow saw it, she came over to me. I tried to touch her again, because soon i would never touch her anymore...
I tried to help myself, but I just couldn't deny that fact that she's dying... I wanted to hug her, to love her, to save her, but I know i couldn't. She just stand in front of me, and i look at her face... She looked like as if she doesn't want me to feel sad, as if she knows what I'm thinking. In the end, we came up to a decision that we would bring her home, until something really bad happens. That i know is not a good choice, because she's suffering. She's all tired and sick, wouldn't move anymore...
Sometimes, I would just think back in times. I would remember how much love i have for her. She's always there when I'm down, and i would just stroll her fur and talk to her, because i know that she would just listen and wouldn't talk back like others. She's always pretty and cute, she would never bit anyone... When i recall my memory, i always feel like I want to cry, like right now when I'm typing this... Only time like this i would remember what she has done... Sigh...
When i heard this news, i realized how stupid it is... when the stuff with Mel. Mel is nothing to me, she can go... whatever.... But yeah.. I noticed that Chow, my dog, or I should say my family member, is way more important. She's always there, watching my house, waiting for me to come home, waiting for me to bring her food, etc... Now that i know I will soon not to be able to do that really hit me... I feel really depress, and yet stupid because i realized how un-mature i was, and how stupid i was for all these stupid problems and things with only a girl that I would not be with...
I don't know anymore, if you guys, whoever is reading this, want to visit her, IM me... I will arrange it... I know some of you really like my dog and stuff, but ... yeah... I don't know what to say.. I know it is true that putting her to sleep is a better choice, but my family and i are ... selfish in a way, because we don't really want her to die... She will still be in my heart as my family member....
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
33rd Day
Is it Day 33? ...
Well.. Whatever.. today was a lucky day without much homework.. pretty nice.. no time to blog anymore.. so i might close it soon..
Well.. Whatever.. today was a lucky day without much homework.. pretty nice.. no time to blog anymore.. so i might close it soon..
Sunday, September 20, 2009
31st Day : BBQ
OMG BBQ... BBQ !!
Had fun, making food and eating... Failing at Rockband, etc etc etc ..
Basically it was fun.. had a Marnier... ..... That thing is.... Oh well ..still had fun with my family and friends. talk about it later if i have time...
Studying for Arcuri at this little moment
Had fun, making food and eating... Failing at Rockband, etc etc etc ..
Basically it was fun.. had a Marnier... ..... That thing is.... Oh well ..still had fun with my family and friends. talk about it later if i have time...
Studying for Arcuri at this little moment
Saturday, September 19, 2009
30th Day : Saturaday Recap
I want to blog about many things today... and i skipped yesterday .. SOMEHOW ...
This year, i have this teacher named Arcuri, as you all know. She is like the worst teacher ever, we all hated her to death. Emily, you should know what I'm talking about.... Anyways, yea, she is such a Bitch to every student, wanting them to die or something. She just want us to suffer, and she laugh like a witch .... Well, we all know we hate her, whatever..
Hoftyzer !!! Mr. Hofty is like the best teacher on my schedule. He is funny and entertaining, making the "boring" (AS WHAT YOU ALL DESCRIBE) Chemistry really really interesting. Though his teaching style might be a little harsh than Ms. Mehlman, but if you pay attention, there is no way you can't get a 5 on the AP.
Other than that, let's talk about afterschool... clubs and etc..
1. CSI Club - For those who doesn't know, it stands for Crime Scene Investigation... nonetheless, It is a fun club, a really "educational" club. I helped the club out on the club fair, even though I wasn't even an official. That day, 5 people were there to help out, but only 2 people are working. I was sitting there, screaming and explaining csi to freshmen and sophmores. I had fun that day.. It was just amazing how the sign-up sheet ratio of girls to boys is 5 to 1, while the other 4 helper are actually female. We were like, Kevin (me) is the face of the club (haha). That day was fun talking to freshie and sophmores though.
2. Science Olympiad- Hm.... They don't consider me as an old member (sob). Well, this year MIGHT or MIGHT NOT be better. One thing is. Vicktor, Kam, Alvia (is that how u spell the name?) left the club. The few top ten of the last senior year graduated, we lost so many good people. The good thing is: this year, they are inviting Dr. Maxfield and Ms. Sirianni to teach Chemistry and Forensic. That is such a nice advance of the club, getting "GOOD" teachers to prep us (lol).
3. HANGOUT??? - Nobody is willing to ask me if i want to hangout or chill around ( >.< ). Even less than last year ... Sigh, whatever, back to work time ._.
This year, i have this teacher named Arcuri, as you all know. She is like the worst teacher ever, we all hated her to death. Emily, you should know what I'm talking about.... Anyways, yea, she is such a Bitch to every student, wanting them to die or something. She just want us to suffer, and she laugh like a witch .... Well, we all know we hate her, whatever..
Hoftyzer !!! Mr. Hofty is like the best teacher on my schedule. He is funny and entertaining, making the "boring" (AS WHAT YOU ALL DESCRIBE) Chemistry really really interesting. Though his teaching style might be a little harsh than Ms. Mehlman, but if you pay attention, there is no way you can't get a 5 on the AP.
Other than that, let's talk about afterschool... clubs and etc..
1. CSI Club - For those who doesn't know, it stands for Crime Scene Investigation... nonetheless, It is a fun club, a really "educational" club. I helped the club out on the club fair, even though I wasn't even an official. That day, 5 people were there to help out, but only 2 people are working. I was sitting there, screaming and explaining csi to freshmen and sophmores. I had fun that day.. It was just amazing how the sign-up sheet ratio of girls to boys is 5 to 1, while the other 4 helper are actually female. We were like, Kevin (me) is the face of the club (haha). That day was fun talking to freshie and sophmores though.
2. Science Olympiad- Hm.... They don't consider me as an old member (sob). Well, this year MIGHT or MIGHT NOT be better. One thing is. Vicktor, Kam, Alvia (is that how u spell the name?) left the club. The few top ten of the last senior year graduated, we lost so many good people. The good thing is: this year, they are inviting Dr. Maxfield and Ms. Sirianni to teach Chemistry and Forensic. That is such a nice advance of the club, getting "GOOD" teachers to prep us (lol).
3. HANGOUT??? - Nobody is willing to ask me if i want to hangout or chill around ( >.< ). Even less than last year ... Sigh, whatever, back to work time ._.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
28th Day : Mom's birthday
Hey, today is such a wonderful day. It is my mom's birthday. Lawl lawl lawl..
Yet.. Arcuri still gives us homework assignment, now back tooooo work..
P.S. I hate Clement more now, Raymond, Alan, Andrew Mah all know why...
OHhhh not to mention the club fair. I recruited many people, approximately 130-150... (breaking the rule of smiley) O_____O. Yeah.. that's a huge number... The ratio of girls to guys are 5 to 1 though, mostly thanks to me. I was sitting there, smiling at those... Sophmores and Freshmen ::cough:: and they come up to me. I think i did a great job entertaining those girls and make them sign up... So yeah, in the end, i realized I'm not that ... "ugly" LOL
Yet.. Arcuri still gives us homework assignment, now back tooooo work..
P.S. I hate Clement more now, Raymond, Alan, Andrew Mah all know why...
OHhhh not to mention the club fair. I recruited many people, approximately 130-150... (breaking the rule of smiley) O_____O. Yeah.. that's a huge number... The ratio of girls to guys are 5 to 1 though, mostly thanks to me. I was sitting there, smiling at those... Sophmores and Freshmen ::cough:: and they come up to me. I think i did a great job entertaining those girls and make them sign up... So yeah, in the end, i realized I'm not that ... "ugly" LOL
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
27th Day : fake Day
This is a make up for yesterday Sept 16th...
Well, nothing mmuch to say besides homework..
Well, nothing mmuch to say besides homework..
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
26th Day : Electron Day
I almost got the urge to go help out in the volunteer in the Election booth or whatever, but in the end I didn't went...
Today, i survived Arcuri.. once again, it was horrible. I volunteer to answer questions, and soooo lucky that she didn't question me back. I was like "OMG OMG OMG."
Right now, doing homework, nothing to do much.
I realized this blog had died down so much.. My paragraphs were long back in the days, now it is like 2 sentences.... I wish it is as long as before, with the mood i have these days (happy, not the sad ones). Think about something to do people, so i can blog about it !!
Today, i survived Arcuri.. once again, it was horrible. I volunteer to answer questions, and soooo lucky that she didn't question me back. I was like "OMG OMG OMG."
Right now, doing homework, nothing to do much.
I realized this blog had died down so much.. My paragraphs were long back in the days, now it is like 2 sentences.... I wish it is as long as before, with the mood i have these days (happy, not the sad ones). Think about something to do people, so i can blog about it !!
Monday, September 14, 2009
25th Day : Cheated
People don't need to get why thats the title for today ::cough:: time ::cough
Anyways, i was doing my homework, Arcuri's outline.... Whatever.. Nothing to blog about...
Bye people v Fake time...
Anyways, i was doing my homework, Arcuri's outline.... Whatever.. Nothing to blog about...
Bye people v Fake time...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
24th Day: Procrastination!!
Alright, many people asked what I did yesterday, coming home at 1 AM !! Yes, 1 AM... ONE!!
Anyways, this is the story. I went to my God Brother's house yesterday. Me and my brothers went there about 6-7, ate dinner with a bunch of people that I don't really know. Most of these people are either my big brother's friend or my god brother, louis' and phillip's friend. The point of the dinner is that everyone bring a plate of food and we all eat and talk. I had fun talking to these new people that are (i think) over 18.
We ate our food and chatted for a while, then Louis decided to bring us to pool. We went to pool about 9 and arrived at 8th ave about 10PM. We played pool and ping pong for about 2 hours. This is probably the first time I had stayed outside this late without my parents or adults from my parent' level (as in aunts, uncle, or etc).
It is quite amaze that 8th ave is pretty cool (weather) and nice (no "bad" people) at night. We went home at about 1AM, and i stayed up until 3. That is basically what happened yesterday.
Today, I've just procrastinate and procrastinate until now. I know what to write for Arcuri's homework, but I'm just too lazy to put it down on the paper... Whatever... hope I will survive this year...
Oh, not to mention about Louise and Thomas. I IMed Louise today, and she told me what happened and etc. I was like, "sigh, like i would find someone that would like me." She replied me with "Yes, Hung, you would." Then I went "Maybe, if i put my Aim Status as 'looking for a gf.' Then probably." I actually had a bit fun thinking about doing the status thing...
Oh well, that shows that I'm completely recovered... Now, back to SCHOOL!!!
Anyways, this is the story. I went to my God Brother's house yesterday. Me and my brothers went there about 6-7, ate dinner with a bunch of people that I don't really know. Most of these people are either my big brother's friend or my god brother, louis' and phillip's friend. The point of the dinner is that everyone bring a plate of food and we all eat and talk. I had fun talking to these new people that are (i think) over 18.
We ate our food and chatted for a while, then Louis decided to bring us to pool. We went to pool about 9 and arrived at 8th ave about 10PM. We played pool and ping pong for about 2 hours. This is probably the first time I had stayed outside this late without my parents or adults from my parent' level (as in aunts, uncle, or etc).
It is quite amaze that 8th ave is pretty cool (weather) and nice (no "bad" people) at night. We went home at about 1AM, and i stayed up until 3. That is basically what happened yesterday.
Today, I've just procrastinate and procrastinate until now. I know what to write for Arcuri's homework, but I'm just too lazy to put it down on the paper... Whatever... hope I will survive this year...
Oh, not to mention about Louise and Thomas. I IMed Louise today, and she told me what happened and etc. I was like, "sigh, like i would find someone that would like me." She replied me with "Yes, Hung, you would." Then I went "Maybe, if i put my Aim Status as 'looking for a gf.' Then probably." I actually had a bit fun thinking about doing the status thing...
Oh well, that shows that I'm completely recovered... Now, back to SCHOOL!!!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
23rd Day: LAWL
I made that time up btw..
I went out until like 0:50 something.. w/e .. No time to blog.. Did a lot today...
I know what you all thinking, but i still have my viriginity xD
I went out until like 0:50 something.. w/e .. No time to blog.. Did a lot today...
I know what you all thinking, but i still have my viriginity xD
Friday, September 11, 2009
22nd Day : The Lazy Day
Only came on to blog continously... Nothing happened much today. Don't feel to well to blog.
Anyways, some major things did happened though. I pulled off a question from Arcuri, Thank God!!! She kept asking me and i managed to pull it off. Gods on my side for once, even I'm not a believer...
The other thing is, I don't plan to change schedule. Screw the Phys C for now...
That's basically it for today, bye bye..
Anyways, some major things did happened though. I pulled off a question from Arcuri, Thank God!!! She kept asking me and i managed to pull it off. Gods on my side for once, even I'm not a believer...
The other thing is, I don't plan to change schedule. Screw the Phys C for now...
That's basically it for today, bye bye..
Thursday, September 10, 2009
21st Day : Hard Work Begins
4 Homework already.. FOUR !! NOT one...
Anyways... nothing to blog about except the fact that I'm still working on my homework...
I'm not dying yet... but I'm going to turn on my brain.. Then i question myself, "do i even have one??" The answer is half and half, but whatever, not the time to discuss right now.
Tomorrow will be, or might be a long blog, since it is going to be the WEEKEND... OMG.. been looking forward to get out of Arcuri's Hellhole so badly... Anyways, back to WORK!!!
Anyways... nothing to blog about except the fact that I'm still working on my homework...
I'm not dying yet... but I'm going to turn on my brain.. Then i question myself, "do i even have one??" The answer is half and half, but whatever, not the time to discuss right now.
Tomorrow will be, or might be a long blog, since it is going to be the WEEKEND... OMG.. been looking forward to get out of Arcuri's Hellhole so badly... Anyways, back to WORK!!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
20th Day: First Day of School (Nightmare)
SHIT SHIT SHIT...
Worst schedule ever..... i wanted Phys C + Calc BC.. they only give me Calc BC.... I wanted Mehlman before but they gave me Hoftyzer (but he is still good), i dont want Arcuri as my AP US history teacher and I HAVE HER -_-.....
Today, in my prefect, i saw my schedule... I look around for 3 freaking times, there is no Phys C on it. I was about to flip.... I actually wanted that class with Dr. Blozy and Mr. Mil... Then i kept looking at it, i saw Ms. Arcuri. The first thing i said was "fuck." That shows how serious it was...
Overall, Hoftyzer (double period), cool and fun, going to have fun in his class. Ms. Tuckman, my English teacher, and everyone said good comments for her. Mr. Wise(double period), AP Calc BC, seems like a mean guy but he is really not. Ms. Vogel, my stupid Phys teacher, i never even heard about her... Mr. Vaged, gym, who cares... Ms. Arcuri, AP US history, this is doom... Ms. Ogle, chinese, really good...
The first day, i have homework already. Mr. Wise said you have 80 mins with me everyday, your homework will be at least that long. It was right, it toook me more than 2 hours just to finish that long sheet of review sheet. It was hard, combined with Algebra, Geometry, Trignometry, and Advanced Algebra. That thing got me frustrated so much...
Anyways, i already sense the doom, Arcuri's homework is coming. Hoftyzer's homework and weekly quiz is coming. Mr. Wise Calc BC homework started... How many 2 hours each day do i have to do these homeworks....
AHHHH .. Oh well. let's just deal with it..
Worst schedule ever..... i wanted Phys C + Calc BC.. they only give me Calc BC.... I wanted Mehlman before but they gave me Hoftyzer (but he is still good), i dont want Arcuri as my AP US history teacher and I HAVE HER -_-.....
Today, in my prefect, i saw my schedule... I look around for 3 freaking times, there is no Phys C on it. I was about to flip.... I actually wanted that class with Dr. Blozy and Mr. Mil... Then i kept looking at it, i saw Ms. Arcuri. The first thing i said was "fuck." That shows how serious it was...
Overall, Hoftyzer (double period), cool and fun, going to have fun in his class. Ms. Tuckman, my English teacher, and everyone said good comments for her. Mr. Wise(double period), AP Calc BC, seems like a mean guy but he is really not. Ms. Vogel, my stupid Phys teacher, i never even heard about her... Mr. Vaged, gym, who cares... Ms. Arcuri, AP US history, this is doom... Ms. Ogle, chinese, really good...
The first day, i have homework already. Mr. Wise said you have 80 mins with me everyday, your homework will be at least that long. It was right, it toook me more than 2 hours just to finish that long sheet of review sheet. It was hard, combined with Algebra, Geometry, Trignometry, and Advanced Algebra. That thing got me frustrated so much...
Anyways, i already sense the doom, Arcuri's homework is coming. Hoftyzer's homework and weekly quiz is coming. Mr. Wise Calc BC homework started... How many 2 hours each day do i have to do these homeworks....
AHHHH .. Oh well. let's just deal with it..
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
19th Day : Recapping
19th day i started this blog.. Today i can really say I'm taking down my Without title...
Tomorrow is starting of school for most of us. This year is my Junior year, the most important year. I feel like saying this is my turning point and my new life, because I will have to work so hard this year to keep my 4.0 GPA up. Next Reason is because of what happened during the whole summer. It's been a real stress to me (or is it?), so school might be able to take me off this issue.
Even though i said "Tomorrow is a new life," i might have to say it MIGHT be a worse one. It is true that after tonight, I wouldn't even see Melody anymore. That is one big stress off my back. But then, I have to deal with Homework, APs, Sat, Sat II, school, and other important things.
School is a good way for me to devote myself into, because I feel more secure sometimes. Most of the time, you find me being surrounded by people from different grades, asking me to do this and that. Sometimes I feel good, even I know people gather around me to use me. It is somewhat like "Everyone need attention" thing, it just couldn't get away from me. I mean, you have "fake" friends coming everyday, asking for homework, school, connections, informations, and etc... That way I sometimes feel famous, yet a phony one...
BTW, Tech wasn't open today... Couldn't get the schedule...
Next up is my current status. Everyone asks me if I'm alright. I have to repeat myself few thousands of times, "I'm Alright" "I'm Alright" "I'm Alright." The truth is, I'm half and half. Half being get over it, half being fustrated. Why? I get over it because what is done is done, so mind as well not think about it... I get fustrated is because I dont see what is better in "Him." Not trying to say shit, but he has nothing... really. The truth is, i realized that people in love cannot see the person's false ... (even though there is nothing good in him). Whatever, oh well, don't need to overthink about this.
Besides my half and half, i realized that this is something that actually is good to me. I might be crazy talking about this, when like all these "BAD" things happened to me. But look, it motivates me... I might devote my Junior Year and make something good out of it.
Yeah, that's it for today, hope you enjoy... Tomorrow will be 20th day : first day of school.
新生活，新開始。
New Life, New Start.
Tomorrow is starting of school for most of us. This year is my Junior year, the most important year. I feel like saying this is my turning point and my new life, because I will have to work so hard this year to keep my 4.0 GPA up. Next Reason is because of what happened during the whole summer. It's been a real stress to me (or is it?), so school might be able to take me off this issue.
Even though i said "Tomorrow is a new life," i might have to say it MIGHT be a worse one. It is true that after tonight, I wouldn't even see Melody anymore. That is one big stress off my back. But then, I have to deal with Homework, APs, Sat, Sat II, school, and other important things.
School is a good way for me to devote myself into, because I feel more secure sometimes. Most of the time, you find me being surrounded by people from different grades, asking me to do this and that. Sometimes I feel good, even I know people gather around me to use me. It is somewhat like "Everyone need attention" thing, it just couldn't get away from me. I mean, you have "fake" friends coming everyday, asking for homework, school, connections, informations, and etc... That way I sometimes feel famous, yet a phony one...
BTW, Tech wasn't open today... Couldn't get the schedule...
Next up is my current status. Everyone asks me if I'm alright. I have to repeat myself few thousands of times, "I'm Alright" "I'm Alright" "I'm Alright." The truth is, I'm half and half. Half being get over it, half being fustrated. Why? I get over it because what is done is done, so mind as well not think about it... I get fustrated is because I dont see what is better in "Him." Not trying to say shit, but he has nothing... really. The truth is, i realized that people in love cannot see the person's false ... (even though there is nothing good in him). Whatever, oh well, don't need to overthink about this.
Besides my half and half, i realized that this is something that actually is good to me. I might be crazy talking about this, when like all these "BAD" things happened to me. But look, it motivates me... I might devote my Junior Year and make something good out of it.
Yeah, that's it for today, hope you enjoy... Tomorrow will be 20th day : first day of school.
新生活，新開始。
New Life, New Start.
Monday, September 7, 2009
18th Day
Hey, I'm actually typing this when I'm on the phone with Ariel.
Nothing much happened today, just noticed that Ariel didn't die. (wanting to make the smilie, but i stopped myself) Anyways, yea, Oblivion Elder Scroll IV is done !! It is still so good for a game that came out for 3-4 years... Next up is Lost Planet, 1/3 done with the download. It is so exciting to watch the trailer.. hope it is good...
>.< That's pretty much everything for today... Oh.. forgot to read my book, .. *BEEP*
Nothing much happened today, just noticed that Ariel didn't die. (wanting to make the smilie, but i stopped myself) Anyways, yea, Oblivion Elder Scroll IV is done !! It is still so good for a game that came out for 3-4 years... Next up is Lost Planet, 1/3 done with the download. It is so exciting to watch the trailer.. hope it is good...
>.< That's pretty much everything for today... Oh.. forgot to read my book, .. *BEEP*
Sunday, September 6, 2009
17th Day (Ex)
Oh .. by the way... I planned to take out the Without Melody thing.. yeah.. screw that thing...
Anyways, yeah... Why is the title Ex? Because it has to deal with my Ex, Joanne...
Something weird happened.. Today at 3 AM... meaning.. approximately 21 hours before. She told me that a guy is bothering her. She told me that she wouldn't go for this guy because she treat her as a best friend, but the most important thing is she "STILL" like a guy... The "still" kinda freaks me out somehow...
Lets talk about my past weeks... 2 weeks ago i started to talk to her again. She realized that I didn't "flirt" with other women, and she told me that she was really sorry for not talking to me. It's been 1/2 year she didn't talk to me, I somehow got used to it.
Oh... talking about my Ex, I didn't even describe her. Joanne, almost 16?, somewhat smart, regular Asian girl height, and... a little chubby... Let's say... Anyways, i met her last year, during our classes together. We decided to get together after my God Brother, the white one, decided to hook us up. We got together pretty well until Christmas, technically 1 week before Christmas.
She called me that night saying we can't continue, mostly because of her family. What i interpret is that it is not her family, but my problem. She kept thinking I had other girls other than her... Yeah, I'm the kind of men that everyone talks to... (maybe), and girls mostly love to come to me for homework and helps. Whatever, let's get to the point. She broke up with me... 1/2 year later, now, she started to talk to me...
And today, 21 hours ago, she told me she "still" likes a guy. I'm kinda scared that it might be me... But yeah, she is nice, but I just don't really want another relationship right now. She kept hinting something to me, as if she wants me to know something... I always act dumb... Which is what i always do, to avoid problems....
Yeah, whatever comes, I will just deal with it. Let's just hope it is not what i think it is..
Anyways, yeah... Why is the title Ex? Because it has to deal with my Ex, Joanne...
Something weird happened.. Today at 3 AM... meaning.. approximately 21 hours before. She told me that a guy is bothering her. She told me that she wouldn't go for this guy because she treat her as a best friend, but the most important thing is she "STILL" like a guy... The "still" kinda freaks me out somehow...
Lets talk about my past weeks... 2 weeks ago i started to talk to her again. She realized that I didn't "flirt" with other women, and she told me that she was really sorry for not talking to me. It's been 1/2 year she didn't talk to me, I somehow got used to it.
Oh... talking about my Ex, I didn't even describe her. Joanne, almost 16?, somewhat smart, regular Asian girl height, and... a little chubby... Let's say... Anyways, i met her last year, during our classes together. We decided to get together after my God Brother, the white one, decided to hook us up. We got together pretty well until Christmas, technically 1 week before Christmas.
She called me that night saying we can't continue, mostly because of her family. What i interpret is that it is not her family, but my problem. She kept thinking I had other girls other than her... Yeah, I'm the kind of men that everyone talks to... (maybe), and girls mostly love to come to me for homework and helps. Whatever, let's get to the point. She broke up with me... 1/2 year later, now, she started to talk to me...
And today, 21 hours ago, she told me she "still" likes a guy. I'm kinda scared that it might be me... But yeah, she is nice, but I just don't really want another relationship right now. She kept hinting something to me, as if she wants me to know something... I always act dumb... Which is what i always do, to avoid problems....
Yeah, whatever comes, I will just deal with it. Let's just hope it is not what i think it is..
17th Day without Melody
Wah.. Just realized it is 17th day after that day o.o... Anyways. My new policy (or try to be one), is no more smilies. (But i just made one...)
What happened today. Hmm... Today is my twin cousins' birthday. Went to celebrate, had a bit fun talking to my cousins. The thing is, the whole time I'm talking, my mind is not there. It is just thinking about old memories. My uncle's place is the house that my brother called Mel the "Rite Aid Girl," the place where she actually live so close to (about 4 blocks away). It seems to be different now, by that, i meant the feelings.
Talking about old memories... Back in the times when it was July, I visited my uncle's place about 2-3 times. All the time, my mind wasn't there. My mind is just out of place, about 4-5 blocks away, where Mel actually lives.. I used to know what she is thinking about, used to know what ever she wanted. Now, i feel distanced to her. It is so close, yet so far apart... We don't have the usual connection anymore, not even a feeling of a friend...
Yeah, whatever... This is what happened today... My cousin's birthday... Again, happy birthday Edmond and Kentrick.... have fun being a child... for now ..
What happened today. Hmm... Today is my twin cousins' birthday. Went to celebrate, had a bit fun talking to my cousins. The thing is, the whole time I'm talking, my mind is not there. It is just thinking about old memories. My uncle's place is the house that my brother called Mel the "Rite Aid Girl," the place where she actually live so close to (about 4 blocks away). It seems to be different now, by that, i meant the feelings.
Talking about old memories... Back in the times when it was July, I visited my uncle's place about 2-3 times. All the time, my mind wasn't there. My mind is just out of place, about 4-5 blocks away, where Mel actually lives.. I used to know what she is thinking about, used to know what ever she wanted. Now, i feel distanced to her. It is so close, yet so far apart... We don't have the usual connection anymore, not even a feeling of a friend...
Yeah, whatever... This is what happened today... My cousin's birthday... Again, happy birthday Edmond and Kentrick.... have fun being a child... for now ..
Saturday, September 5, 2009
16th Day without Melody (Drama)
Today was watching this drama.... and it comes to this scene where a guy and a girl are talking...
So the girl went.. "yea... Whenever you give someone love, it's so hard to take it back..." Somehow, i agree with her. When you give or contribute to the person you love, it is always hard to forget... You would never want to take back the love you gave and pretend you had never love this person...
Then the girl went "Sigh... Love is always the worst field for woman." I was like........ Okay..... I think love is always the worst field for everyone who hide themselves. I mean... If i wouldn't just hide myself, what would it be now. No one knows.. but I rather think the best instead of the worst. If things can be undone, everyone might be better, but what happened is the fact, so I should just deal with it.
At last the guy asked "Your best field is also your worst field, for you help your friends before you. But then... Are you happy with that?" That question kept going around and around my head. I'm like... Yeah.. maybe I shouldn't be caring about others, I should just worry about myself first. If i wouldn't care about my friend's problem and dealt with my own love problem at first, wouldn't it be much better? Now i think i should be more selfish and screw you all over... Justttt Kidding =P.
So the girl went.. "yea... Whenever you give someone love, it's so hard to take it back..." Somehow, i agree with her. When you give or contribute to the person you love, it is always hard to forget... You would never want to take back the love you gave and pretend you had never love this person...
Then the girl went "Sigh... Love is always the worst field for woman." I was like........ Okay..... I think love is always the worst field for everyone who hide themselves. I mean... If i wouldn't just hide myself, what would it be now. No one knows.. but I rather think the best instead of the worst. If things can be undone, everyone might be better, but what happened is the fact, so I should just deal with it.
At last the guy asked "Your best field is also your worst field, for you help your friends before you. But then... Are you happy with that?" That question kept going around and around my head. I'm like... Yeah.. maybe I shouldn't be caring about others, I should just worry about myself first. If i wouldn't care about my friend's problem and dealt with my own love problem at first, wouldn't it be much better? Now i think i should be more selfish and screw you all over... Justttt Kidding =P.
Friday, September 4, 2009
15th Day without Melody
Nothing to post about today... Melody just reminded me to blog because she was like.. I'm blogging O_O...
Anyways.. yea.. while i had this NEW POST up, my brother was here... chatting on aim.. I couldn't even close the tab.. Oh well O.o he saw everything.... O_O I'm fine for a long time anyways...
Today was nothing much.... Just trying to mow the lawn, failed but whatever...
AHH >< NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT !!... I guess that's it for today..
Anyways.. yea.. while i had this NEW POST up, my brother was here... chatting on aim.. I couldn't even close the tab.. Oh well O.o he saw everything.... O_O I'm fine for a long time anyways...
Today was nothing much.... Just trying to mow the lawn, failed but whatever...
AHH >< NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT !!... I guess that's it for today..
Thursday, September 3, 2009
14th Day without Melody
O.o.. Unbelievable day....
Yea.. Jogged today. Ceasar's Bay to Verr Bridge.. That is still too long for me, i die within 1/6 of the jog, since it is a round trip... That is 1 miles of running non-stop... Whatever...
After the jog, we went back to the club. Then i decided to go Aaron's house to wash my hair because it is way too.. sweaty. I went to his house, i was shocked to see so many yu-gi-oh cards =P. It was like piling up, but yea.. I would have more if I'm actually into yu-gi-oh.
I took a quick wash on my hair, it was salty because my hair sweat like crazy. The whole thing, going to Aaron's house and coming back was fun though. We talked for like 2 hours, talked about life, girls, and etc. It was just fun to know more about my God-Bro.
Then we went back to the club house, played a little Truth or Dare game with Shelly, Daisy, Bo Bo, Wy Ming, and Aaron. It was boring... It is mainly because nobody is good enough to know what to truth or dare about.
Next thing you know, we went to 86th Wong again. We got some food to eat and chat a bit. Then we went back to the club house and watch Andrew and Aaron playing yu-gi-oh.
After everyone is back, we decided to play Truth or Dare.... This time, only 4 people are playing, it was me, Aaron, Andrew, and Calvin. We increased the difficulty of the game so much. We added this omit system. Every 2 omits you do, u have to stripe your clothing. First is your shirt, then your shoes, then finally your pants. We set the rules to Limitless, as in no limit to daring and questioning. The thing is... We got so insane with the questions that many people omit, but nobody reached 5, so nobody had their pants down. We did many crazy.. crazy... yes crazy.... things, but according to the rules, i cannot post here because this is a public blog. We had fun though. By fun, i mean FUN FUN FUN, the best day ever...
Today i learned a lots of stuff from T/D. Things that guys don't usually say, things that we don't usually do. LOL... whatever..
Oh, not to mention i forgot the backyard. I will be cleaning it tomorrow, i guess.. If it wasn't that sunny.
Then also another problem is that i cannot find the ebook for... my summer book. I only found one, but i need two... Oh well, might go sheepshead just to get the book....
That's probably it for today.. for the 2nd week.... Don't know if i can keep up the blog anymore... Because there might not be anything to write...
Yea.. Jogged today. Ceasar's Bay to Verr Bridge.. That is still too long for me, i die within 1/6 of the jog, since it is a round trip... That is 1 miles of running non-stop... Whatever...
After the jog, we went back to the club. Then i decided to go Aaron's house to wash my hair because it is way too.. sweaty. I went to his house, i was shocked to see so many yu-gi-oh cards =P. It was like piling up, but yea.. I would have more if I'm actually into yu-gi-oh.
I took a quick wash on my hair, it was salty because my hair sweat like crazy. The whole thing, going to Aaron's house and coming back was fun though. We talked for like 2 hours, talked about life, girls, and etc. It was just fun to know more about my God-Bro.
Then we went back to the club house, played a little Truth or Dare game with Shelly, Daisy, Bo Bo, Wy Ming, and Aaron. It was boring... It is mainly because nobody is good enough to know what to truth or dare about.
Next thing you know, we went to 86th Wong again. We got some food to eat and chat a bit. Then we went back to the club house and watch Andrew and Aaron playing yu-gi-oh.
After everyone is back, we decided to play Truth or Dare.... This time, only 4 people are playing, it was me, Aaron, Andrew, and Calvin. We increased the difficulty of the game so much. We added this omit system. Every 2 omits you do, u have to stripe your clothing. First is your shirt, then your shoes, then finally your pants. We set the rules to Limitless, as in no limit to daring and questioning. The thing is... We got so insane with the questions that many people omit, but nobody reached 5, so nobody had their pants down. We did many crazy.. crazy... yes crazy.... things, but according to the rules, i cannot post here because this is a public blog. We had fun though. By fun, i mean FUN FUN FUN, the best day ever...
Today i learned a lots of stuff from T/D. Things that guys don't usually say, things that we don't usually do. LOL... whatever..
Oh, not to mention i forgot the backyard. I will be cleaning it tomorrow, i guess.. If it wasn't that sunny.
Then also another problem is that i cannot find the ebook for... my summer book. I only found one, but i need two... Oh well, might go sheepshead just to get the book....
That's probably it for today.. for the 2nd week.... Don't know if i can keep up the blog anymore... Because there might not be anything to write...
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
13th Day without Melody
O_O important thing... I think my brother already found out about this... I thank Ariel =] because I blame everything on her...
Anyways, who cares... Not like I'm going to die. I'm bored once again. Went to volunteer today, got the hardest work, yet it was boring and tiring. Giving out flyers aren't a pretty good job to do, you have to run up and down the stairs and slip flyers throught doors and mailboxes... In the end, you achieve nothing but bunch of volunteer hours.
After the work, a group of people decided to walk to 8th ave... ALLL the way from 7th ave and 10th street to 8th ave and 48th street... It took us pretty long to walk there, especially when we have to pass the cemetary and other things.
After today, I am officially broke, only approximately 100 left in my pocket. Why? Because I don't want to spend it... I want to use it as emergency or back to school money. I guess i have to start my school businesses again... Yeah, gather informations, do homework, or change grades... I might be offering all of these to students...
I just realized I'm kind of screwed... I need to read 2 books, yet I didn't even start reading one. I picked my fiction as "The Time Machine," it seems pretty easy and it seems pretty interesting. It is not that i distaste reading, but I just don't feel like reading those books that I don't like to read. I rather read adventure or science fiction, rather than historical books...
Oh. Now talk about my brothers. I don't know. It seems like that he knows everything, he said 3 words will own me, and my friend suggested it is this title. I'm fine that they know it, but again, i already get over with it and I just want my Physic C to be on my schedule. My goal now is just get junior year done with a 4.0 GPA and don't mess up on my SAT, SAT II, and my AP exams.
當一件事情不是想象中那麽好的時候，其它的應該會是好的。
When one thing is not going so well as you thought, other things should be good to balance it out.
Anyways, who cares... Not like I'm going to die. I'm bored once again. Went to volunteer today, got the hardest work, yet it was boring and tiring. Giving out flyers aren't a pretty good job to do, you have to run up and down the stairs and slip flyers throught doors and mailboxes... In the end, you achieve nothing but bunch of volunteer hours.
After the work, a group of people decided to walk to 8th ave... ALLL the way from 7th ave and 10th street to 8th ave and 48th street... It took us pretty long to walk there, especially when we have to pass the cemetary and other things.
After today, I am officially broke, only approximately 100 left in my pocket. Why? Because I don't want to spend it... I want to use it as emergency or back to school money. I guess i have to start my school businesses again... Yeah, gather informations, do homework, or change grades... I might be offering all of these to students...
I just realized I'm kind of screwed... I need to read 2 books, yet I didn't even start reading one. I picked my fiction as "The Time Machine," it seems pretty easy and it seems pretty interesting. It is not that i distaste reading, but I just don't feel like reading those books that I don't like to read. I rather read adventure or science fiction, rather than historical books...
Oh. Now talk about my brothers. I don't know. It seems like that he knows everything, he said 3 words will own me, and my friend suggested it is this title. I'm fine that they know it, but again, i already get over with it and I just want my Physic C to be on my schedule. My goal now is just get junior year done with a 4.0 GPA and don't mess up on my SAT, SAT II, and my AP exams.
當一件事情不是想象中那麽好的時候，其它的應該會是好的。
When one thing is not going so well as you thought, other things should be good to balance it out.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
12th Day without Melody
Today is the 12th day. I don't know... Time seems to be passing so fast, what i mean is that they are proceeding so fast. Even if they do, it seems like I give less a crap about them anymore. I have my own life, and let them have theirs.
Today, i went jogging with Calvin, Andrew, and Adam. Somehow, due to the fact that I haven't run for years, now i can barely run 2 miles without resting. It was fun though. We ran all the way from Ceasars Bay to Verrazano Bridge then back to the Bay. That took us about 45 minutes or so. I was like "dead" when i reach the bay, because we've ran for so long... that my legs were numb.
Going back to the democratic club naked, i mean without my shirt... Everyone went "Woo," and i give them the face of -_-. They asked if I ran with the group, but it is just obivious that i did. Whatever, i answered them, and changed into my regular clothing.
Then we did round 7/8 Truth or Dare. Today might be the worst T/D game i had... Nothing important, stupid shit...
After we work, we went to have our lunch break. Me, Adam, Johnathan, Redmond, and Andrew went to the 86th Street Wong again. We order rice and congee... Had a bit fun talking about Inglorious Bastards and life there.
After the lunch break, we went back to the club. Did nothing at first, because everyone is bored and tired. We played a bit of Chinese Poker, then we rested for another 15 minutes. Out of a sudden, Andrew went acting all homo on Johnathan and Redmond. We had fun trying to "rape" each other, because Jessica was recording what we did. Well we had a great laugh from all those actions that Andrew did. Sorry to say it to everyone Andrew =P
At 4:30, i just tell Aaron to swipe me in and i went home.. Got home at like 5:30... Change.. then somehow fall asleep... until 7... Then i finish dinnner.. And that's about it for now..
Today, i went jogging with Calvin, Andrew, and Adam. Somehow, due to the fact that I haven't run for years, now i can barely run 2 miles without resting. It was fun though. We ran all the way from Ceasars Bay to Verrazano Bridge then back to the Bay. That took us about 45 minutes or so. I was like "dead" when i reach the bay, because we've ran for so long... that my legs were numb.
Going back to the democratic club naked, i mean without my shirt... Everyone went "Woo," and i give them the face of -_-. They asked if I ran with the group, but it is just obivious that i did. Whatever, i answered them, and changed into my regular clothing.
Then we did round 7/8 Truth or Dare. Today might be the worst T/D game i had... Nothing important, stupid shit...
After we work, we went to have our lunch break. Me, Adam, Johnathan, Redmond, and Andrew went to the 86th Street Wong again. We order rice and congee... Had a bit fun talking about Inglorious Bastards and life there.
After the lunch break, we went back to the club. Did nothing at first, because everyone is bored and tired. We played a bit of Chinese Poker, then we rested for another 15 minutes. Out of a sudden, Andrew went acting all homo on Johnathan and Redmond. We had fun trying to "rape" each other, because Jessica was recording what we did. Well we had a great laugh from all those actions that Andrew did. Sorry to say it to everyone Andrew =P
At 4:30, i just tell Aaron to swipe me in and i went home.. Got home at like 5:30... Change.. then somehow fall asleep... until 7... Then i finish dinnner.. And that's about it for now..
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